Drama. Drought. Unemployment. Taxes. Drones. Lawyers. Money-Worshippers. Intolerance. Numbing. Indoctrination. Seclusion. These are the Days of Our Lives in Texas right now, right now being the pre-apocalypse.
But out here at the ranch, I’ve decided to take a stand against the drama, and all the signs of a Texas-style self-fulfilling prophecy of apocalyptic proportions. And how, you may ask, am I taking a stand against all these overbearing annoyances of daily life? Well, to explain that, I’ll just have to give you a preview of season 1 of the Days of Our Lives Blog:
Episode 1: DRAMA - Best medication is a stiff drink (or three or four), a life-changing musical experience, and some late-night gourmet cooking at the coolest house in Austin. Take this prescription twice a week with a dose of bullshit-reducer.
Episode 2: DROUGHT - An exploration of new irrigation techniques as we get ready for our Texas-sized winter garden. Keyhole gardens, Aquaponics, Rain barrel systems, and more.
Episode 3: UNEMPLOYMENT - There’s already plenty of advice online for the unemployed. So rather than spew out job-seeking tips, I’m going to tell you THE BEST way to enjoy your time off of work, all free-to-cheap and all completely useful. Yeah, go ahead and send in a dozen resumes, but then learn to play some ukulele, get out in that 105-degree weather for some free Bikram Yoga, get friends together for a free-to-cheap art party, build a chicken coop, take a fishing pole to the river and catch some dinner, start a batch of homemade wine, get the garden ready… just to name a few.
Episode 4: TAXES - That’s right, free tax advice from a hippie-techie-Texas-redneck, let’s see just how that works out. Tax Tip Numero Uno: Take this advice with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila.
Episode 5: DRONES - Yep, there’s drones flying over Texas now. I’ve spotted two so far. This post will be dedicated to creating art to be enjoyed from aerial surveillance. I just can’t wait for this one.
Episode 6: LAWYERS - Episode six will be canceled due to legal issues.
Episode 7: MONEY-WORSHIPPERS - Episode seven will be canceled due to legal issues.
Episode 8: INTOLERANCE - Quotes from Jesus, Ronald Reagan and the RNC on being tolerant. Oh, and if you think you’re not intolerant, then think again.
Episode 9: NUMBING - How to de-numb your brain to the world around it, and then the best cocktail to numb back down again.
Episode 10: INDOCTRINATION - What it means, and why nerds rule.
Episode 11: SECLUSION - It’s not what you think it is.